Category Archives: Coffeehouse Observer

Coffeehouse observation No.297 – Coffee and Girl Scout cookies!

I’m drinking coffee and eating Girl Scout cookies. Yeah! That’s right!

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Coffeehouse observation No.296 – Today’s guest commentary

[Sometimes the best stuff that happens in a coffeehouse happens to my friends in coffeehouses when I’m not around. Here’s something a former colleague and Facebook connection posted to my wall and it seemed appropriate here as a guest commentary. – KM]

“I thought of you today. My daughter took me to a cafe in SF and while we were sitting there, this young woman answers her cellphone and then proceeds to have a too-loud conversation with her mother in which she complained bitterly about her father while debating whether to see him or not, then discussed ad nauseum her psychiatric condition and which of the recommended medications she should take. I just kept thinking, ‘Anyone who thinks this is a conversation that should be done in public is clearly disturbed.’”

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Coffeehouse observation No. 295 – Caressing those keys like a jackhammer

I read somewhere not too long ago that the average life expectancy for a laptop is about three years. After all, lap tops are portable … and drop-able. The guy sitting at a nearby table is caressing the keyboard on his laptop like a jackhammer, slamming down each key in staccato fashion. I think he is affecting the curve and bringing down the life expectancy average.

By the way, I don’t get the feeling that he is angry – at the laptop or in general – but merely mindlessly abusive to the laptop.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 294 – Recycling made sexy

On the way to the coffeehouse I noticed a woman collecting cans and bottles from a trashcan and she was putting them into a Victoria’s Secret bag she was carrying. I suppose that makes recycling sexy.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 292 — Regretting going without coffee today

I skipped coffee this morning and now I’m regretting it. … Quite bit.

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Thank-you note to my scouting niece

The Girl Scout Cookies are freed from their bondage.

The Girl Scout Cookies are freed from their bondage.

[I received a fun package yesterday from my scouting niece Sophie. Actually, she is my only niece, but she is in a scouting organization, so she’s also my “scouting niece.” Regular readers may recall that I have lamented in the past that the packages my family sends me from time are full of sugary treats. At my age, who needs the extra pounds. Oy! So, I made my family promise to not send me any more sugary treats. But then the Girl Scouts – well, mostly their mothers – started hitting me up to help fill their cookie quotas. So, I had to send my sister a note to clarify that in no way was my earlier dictate to reflect the Girl Scout Cookie Season. That, I made it clear to her, was not the case. Girl Scout Cookies were OK for my diet. … I have a feeling I will be gaining a few pounds in the next few days. – KM]

Dear Sophie:

I received a package yesterday that you and Mommy sent to me. Inside were very yummy Girl Scout Cookies. I wanted to thank you very, very much. I am sure I will enjoy them. Thank you.

Now, I just have to decide which cookies to start with.

Love,

Uncle Keith

P.S. Please say “Hi” to your brother Max. I miss you both very much.

A package is opened.

A package is opened.

A cookie is liberated.

A cookie is liberated.

The first bite …

The first bite …

And another ...

And another ...

Just one more bite left …

Just one more bite left …

And now my had is free to grasp another cookie.

And now my hand is free to grasp another cookie.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 290 – Hot coffee, cool jazz combat the cold

Happiness – at least today – is hot coffee and cool jazz on a cold, blustery day.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 289 – Mighty mite snuff out smoker

A guy – he looks pretty down on his luck and smells as if it has been quite a while since his most recent shower – is sitting near the windows of the coffeehouse. A little while ago he lit a cigarette and I exchanged glances of disbelief with the guy sitting at the table next to me. Smokers in California haven’t been allowed to light up inside businesses for years. A mite of a woman here checking her email – because she wasn’t keeping her tiny boys in check – spoke up and told him to go outside to smoke. He didn’t and she went for a barista. Baristas are the law in the coffeehouse, as you probably know. The fellow sitting by the window put it out by the time the barista arrived. Good for the tiny woman for speaking up, although it would be nice if she directed a bit of that toward wrangling in her boys.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 288 — Coffeehouse like ‘Cheers’

Coffee on a rainy morning in a coffeehouse where they know your name. … It’s almost like “Cheers,” but with caffeine.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 287 – For a coffee experience that is out of this world

Follow this link to a coffee experience that is out of this world. No, seriously.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 286 – Erin go bragh!

While my middle and last names are of French origin, my first name is Gaelic meaning “woodland,” “forest” and “from the battlefield.” I’ve also heard that it means “winding road in the woods.” Anyway, for that reason today I claim to be one-third Irish. Erin go bragh and hand me an Irish coffee.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 285 – What a depressing suggestion

I noticed a sign on the way back from the coffeehouse yesterday. It read: “Hope for depression.” Below it was a number for “more details.” I’m not sure if the “more details” would be about getting help to cope with depression or if the sign is some wildly sadistic suggestion. I mean, who would hope to become depressed?

Depression is dangerous stuff. There is help for people suffering through depression. Seek help from a mental health expert if you or a family member is experiencing depression.

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Peak coffee incoming: Climate change is killing our buzz | treehugger.com

Peak coffee incoming: Climate change is killing our buzz | treehugger.com

Coffeehouse observation No. 284 – Giving up caffeine for Lent? WHAT?!

Here’s another from Overheard in the Newsroom that included a reference to caffeine.

Reporter, after listening to new media editor complain about giving up caffeine for Lent: “Want to know what I’m giving up for Lent? Hope.”

Giving up caffeine for Lent? That’s just crazy!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 283 — A little off-color humor

As past visitors will recall, I have worked in the past as a writer and editor for. Some of the things said in a newsroom are pretty off color. Funny, but off color. So, on Facebook I clicked “Like” for Overheard in the Newsroom, which distributes some funny and off-the-wall things said in the newsroom. This one happened to include a reference to coffee.

Multimedia editor: “Iced coffee is like sex with a condom.”

See, off color. Funny, but off color.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 282 – Tips on reusing coffee, coffee grounds

13 Ways to Reuse Coffee and Coffee Grounds |Shine.yahoo.com

[When I was a kid we used to pour our parents’ coffee grounds over some turned-up soil. Later, we would return to pick up the worms to be used for fishing in the lake or stream. That tip is not included at this link, but they do have several that seem good to try. Here’s the disclaimer, of course: I have not tested any of these tips, except the ones involving composting. Follow them at you own risk. — KM]

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Coffeehouse observation No. 281 – Crowded coffeehouse and kids fueled on sugar

It is much more crowded at the coffeehouse than would be expected on such a bright, sunny day in California. Families are out and about, which is nice. Unfortunately, every kid in the place seems to be riding a freakin’ sugar high. A little parental control would be nice.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 280 — Madhatter returns to the coffeehouse

The guy who wore a Seussian hat at Christmas is back in the coffeehouse with an Uncle Sam-like St. Paddy’s Day hat. What kind of a wild, crazy haberdashery does this guy visit?! This guy must be the modern-day Madhatter!

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Coffeehouse observation No. 279 – Nearly forced to break out coffeehouse ninja skills

Overheard something yesterday that still has me a bit cranked up. Two mature – ah, heck, they were elderly – women were sitting at the next table and talked on and on about their China doll collections.

Yep, they had catalogs and everything. Even had a 16- to 20-inch doll with them and talked about going to a “doll show” on Saturday.

Then they started talking about world and national events, solving all the problems of the world from their seats there in the coffeehouse. Political unrest overseas? They figured it out. Political unrest in Wisconsin? They figured that out, too. Obnoxiously loud car outside the coffeehouse? They figured out a solution for that, too. Amazing.

But then their conversation shifted to the unemployed in this country and one of them uttered these world: “They should just retrain themselves and find a job. That’s what I think.”

Yeah, 13.9 million unemployed Americans – and that’s just the number of people who have not given up on seeking employment – are simply going to “reinvent” themselves into rodeo clowns or international spies or whatever. Simple as that.

It is not! I should know. I am five days short of being unemployed for two very long years. Those two women do not know what they are talking about.

I seriously considered breaking out my coffeehouse ninja skills to throat-punch those two women. But I restrained myself. I figured I would be wasting a perfectly good throat-punch.

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Coffeehouse observation No. 278

A girl and her father just walked in. She’s wearing a knit kitten hat, yellow shirt, tights and tutu, and knee-high boots. It’s gonna be THE look for spring. … I’d ask to take a photo, but he’s twice my size and wearing a sweatshirt with “PAGAN” on the back. I think I’ll pass on the photo.

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